One of the coolest things about SQLCruise is the ability to network in a relaxed atmosphere.  From the moment you step aboard – earlier, even – you get to know the instructors and your fellow attendees.

For this year’s SQLCruise season, we encouraged our sponsors to send some of their own staff.  SQL Server vendors have employees who work in development, support, and marketing who know a lot about SQL Server, love to share their knowledge, and know everybody in the industry. We wanted the cruise attendees to get a chance to rub elbows with these people.

Three of a Kind, Working On a Full House

I’m excited to announce the first sponsor partner aboard our Miami cruise – Quest Software‘s Kevin Kline.  Kevin’s all over the web:

• Blog – KevinEKline.com
• Twitter – @KEKline
• Articles – SQL Server Magazine
• Videos – YouTube
• Books – SQL in a Nutshell, Pro SQL Server 2008 Design, and more

He’s worked for Quest for almost a decade, he’s been the President of the Professional Association for SQL Server, and he’s one of the most widely known names in the SQL Server business.  But set all of that aside for a minute – no matter how good he is professionally, those who know Kevin remember him for something else.

Kevin is a genuinely nice guy who sincerely cares about people.  He’s the real deal, and I’m honored to have worked with him.  Early on in my career at Quest, I got into a political dust-up.  I can’t even remember what it was today, but I remember Kevin taking the time to call me.  He delivered the right advice in the right way, told me about my bats in the cave, and never brought it up again.  I’d always thought Kevin was a stand-up guy, and that one moment reinforced my opinion of him even more.

I’m looking forward to evenings on the cruise ship deck with Kevin – no, not in a romantic way, but because I’ve already got a couple of professional development questions in mind that could really use his help.  I know all of the cruisers will leave Miami with a new appreciation for Kevin’s wisdom and tact, and I want to thank Quest Software for sending Kevin as their ambassador on the cruise.

Want to join in on the most personal SQL Server event around?  Check out the cruise, the training, the brochure, and register today!  We’ve still got a few spots left…

Congratulations to Mitch Bottel who won airfare, a cruise for two, and SQLCruise training for one courtesy of Idera’s SQLCruise contest. Watch Mitch’s contest song video on YouTube.  Great stuff!  We look forward to hearing Mitch sing again in person – oh, yes indeed, we will be making him sing this on board the ship.

Because there were so many great entries, Idera also gave away three iPads and four $100 Amazon gift cards.  You can view the list of winners, or check out the other contest entries on Idera’s Facebook page.

Want to join Mitch on board? We’ve still got a few spots left on both Miami and now Alaska, too, due to some cancellations.  Check out the cruises, the training, and give your boss the SQLCruise brochure PDF.  You never know!

Wow!  The entries from Idera’s SQLCruise contest are in, and we’re amazed!  You can see the full list over on Idera’s Facebook page, and here’s just a few of our favorites.  (No, we’re not involved in picking the winners – Idera will do that – so don’t take this as the finalists list!)

The Administrator by Wil Sisney

Idera Man by Stivan Widick

Idera Black Ops by Daniel Boucher

I’m sensing a theme of conflict between database administrators and developers, heh.  Let’s lighten things up with My SQL Hero by Mitch Bottel:

There’s more including poetry, pictures, and videos – check ’em out at Idera’s Facebook page, and watch for the winner announcement next week.

Want to go on SQLCruise Miami but you just can’t convince the boss to spring for the expense?  We’ve got great news – Idera is giving away one boatload of a prize package:

• Cruise for two aboard the Norwegian Dawn from Miami to Grand Cayman and Cozumel
• Airfare for two people to Miami (up to $1,000)
• SQLCruise training for one person (that would be you)

Entering is absurdly easy.  It’s probably the easiest thing you’re going to do today, and trust me, you are going to do this today.  Right now, in fact.  Go read Idera’s contest rules, and then just post a message on Idera’s Facebook wall talking about a time when you saved the day.

That’s it.

You’re entered.

And while you’re waiting for the winner to be announced, go ahead – put on some Jimmy Buffett music and stick an umbrella in your drink.  You deserve it.

After we announced the 2011 SQLCruise schedule, we heard the same thing over and over: “I want to go on the Miami cruise, but I don’t want junior-level training.” We even heard it from the people who signed up – they said, “We signed up hoping you’d do expert-level stuff instead.”

What, you thought we learned on the beach?

You want expert-level, you got it!

We worked with the cruisers who signed up for Miami to build a more advanced training schedule that worked for them. Here’s the new agenda:

I Knew You Were Waiting

Turns out George Michael and Aretha Franklin were right all along: our SQL Servers have been waiting for all kinds of things. Join our own pop duo who will show you how to interpret SQL Server’s wait stats. Not sure this session will be any good? You gotta have faith. Here’s what we’ll be carelessly whispering:

• I Want Your Stats (how to get SQL Server to give up the goods)
• Fastlove (how to produce amazing performance reports in minutes with SQLnexus)
• Don’t Let the Speed Go Down On Me (that one just speaks for itself)

Defensive Indexing

Nobody ever gets you involved in schema design AHEAD of time, do they? Oooh, no. They drag you in when the server’s on fire, queries are dragging their feet, and users are screaming for relief. We’ll show you:

• How to look at an execution plan and know with confidence if you should add an index
• Why some indexes shouldn’t be deleted even if they’re not being used
• How to quickly build an index health report for your developers and clients

SAN Admin Lie Detector

Your SAN admin is probably lying to you. You’re frustrated because SQL Server is dead slow, you’re seeing all kinds of storage waits, and everything points to the SAN, but the SAN admin says it’s not his problem. It probably is – and Brent will give you the tools to prove it. Strap him to the SAN Admin Lie Detector and learn:

• How to read the hidden SAN signs in Control Panel
• How to test the SAN in 5 minutes
• How to write a report proving it’s the SAN without making enemies

The Periodic Table of Dynamic Management Objects

The Math – Dynamic Management Objects: there were 89 of them when they were introduced in SQL Server 2005; 136 when SQL Server 2008 released. That figure remained steady when SQL Server 2008 was R-twoed. That’s an increase of almost 35% over the course of the last two-and-a-half releases of SQL Server. What of the newest release, Denali? Currently (as of CTP 1) there are 155 Dynamic Management Views and Functions.

The History – The Dynamic Management Views and Functions were never going to see the light of day off of the Redmond Campus. They were being used internally during the development process for the Yukon release that would become SQL Server 2005 to identify and troubleshoot development issues. Then a mildly average developer had an idea…

<CAMERA FLASHES TO ONE OF THOSE ATTRACTIVE GLITTERY-VAMPIRE ACTORS PLAYING THE ROLE OF DEVELOPER>
“What if we exposed these powerful tools for all to use? That’s when Microsoft listened to me. Thank you Windows7, er SQL Server!”

Tim Says – Who would think that I would be using math and history to introduce the topic of Dynamic Management Views and Functions within SQL Server? Probably the same person who would have told me I would be providing SQL Server training with Brent Ozar on a cruise ship. However that is precisely what I’m doing. Furthermore I’m going to take this a step further and throw down some mad science for organizing DMOs.

The Science – Our history with, and fondness of, computers probably meant we spent a bit of time with our friends in the band and those that frequented the chemistry lab back in high school. Therefore we are probably all at least familiar with the Periodic Table of the Elements. Well I’ve used a similar approach when it comes to graphically presenting and organizing the DMOs available up through the current release of SQL Server. Partitioned by purpose and assigned corresponding coding for type (DMV v. DMF), SQL release, and tasks; the Periodic Table of Dynamic Management Objects will serve as our reference point for examining the myriad of performance tuning opportunities we can take with the DMOs. From troubleshooting performance issues to providing proactive tuning before performance troubles arise, we will examine many of the current (and some of the future) DMOs to explain what they are and how they can be used immediately once you return to dry land and your data centers far removed from the salt seas and sandy beaches we’ll experience while in recess on SQLCruise.

Sound good? Go check out the cruise, meet your fellow cruisers, and register today! There’s only 7 spots left…