About Timothy Ford

http://www.sqlcruise.com

Posts by Timothy Ford:

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SQL Sentry Hairy Execution Plan Contest – Landlubber Version

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SQL Sentry was one of our very first sponsors on the first SQLCruise, and on board the boat last year, we started the SQL Sentry Hairy Execution Plan contest.  It’s a lot like the Hairy Chest Contest that cruise ships usually run, only we lose our lunch when we see that kind of thing, so we used execution plans instead.

This year, we’re doing the contest on land, and you can enter! We’re looking for your ugliest, nastiest, hairiest execution plans – high CPU, high reads, crazy numbers of tables, or just big ugly trees.  You only get one entry, though, so to help decide which one of your queries is really the worst, check out SQL Sentry’s free Plan Explorer – a free tool to help navigate those hairy plans.

To enter, save your execution plan as XML.  Create a text file with your email address in it.  Zip up both the execution plan and the text file into one zip file, and upload it here by Friday, March 11th.  You can win:

  1. Grand Prize: $100 Amazon Gift Certificate
  2. Two Runners-Up: $50 Amazon Gift Certificate

Rules and Fine Print: One entry per person.  US residents only.  All entries become property of SQL Sentry and SQLCruise Inc, and we may use your plans for public presentations, demos, or comedy fodder.  If you’re worried about your company’s data being identified, remember that you’ve probably got a crappy third party app in the house that generates even worse T-SQL, so use that one instead.  We’ll judge the entries subjectively – they won’t be chosen on any one statistic alone.  Deadline for entry is Friday, March 11th, 11:59PM GMT.

So get started, and show us your hairy execution plans!

Update March 4th: Here’s the leader so far as seen in SQL Sentry’s free Plan Explorer:

Bill Sanscrainte's Hairiest Execution Plan

Bill Sanscrainte's Hairiest Execution Plan

I bet you can do better – and even if you don’t, there’s only been a limited number of submissions so far.  It’s a quick way to earn $50-$100 for your bad code!

#SQLCruisers Get All Quest Software SQL Server Tools – FREE.

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You read that right – if you’re on board our upcoming SQLCruise, you’re going to get all of Quest’s SQL Server products for one year completely free of charge:

Spotlight on SQL Server Enterprise – the legendary dashboard tool that tells you at a glance how your SQL Server is doing, and when you’re not there to glance at it, Spotlight will send you alert emails too.

Foglight Performance Analysis for SQL Server – what if you could run a trace 24/7 on your SQL Servers without slowing things down like Profiler does?  Foglight PA gives you in-depth insight into where your bottlenecks are and tracks the T-SQL, users, applications, etc causing the bottleneck.  If you’re managing an in-house-developed application, Foglight PA is your best friend.

LiteSpeed for SQL Server – anybody can take backups, but can you recover individual items out of your database backup like tables or stored procs?  Can you query your backup files as if they’re databases?  Can you manage all your log shipping on one screen?  If you’re on SQLCruise, you can, because you’ll have LiteSpeed.

That’s just the beginning, but there’s more.  Foglight for SQL Server lets you monitor server performance from a web browser, Benchmark Factory helps you load test your SQL Servers, Toad Data Modeler reverse engineers your databases to build diagrams and change scripts, and so much more.  We can’t cover all of Quest’s SQL Server products in one post, but here’s one thing we have to cover:

That’s $8,779 in free tools.

Thanks to our community-oriented sponsors like Quest, SQLCruise really does pay for itself.  SQLCruise attendees don’t just get great training, in-depth networking, and professional development training.  Quest wants you to get out of the cube and join the community.  Come on board!

He grew up in Kentucky, and that explains a lot.

Let the #SQLCruise Miami Countdown Begin!

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As you endure another crappy Monday, whenever things get too dreary, close your eyes and pretend you’re one of the cool kids going on SQLCruise Miami the weekend after next.  On March 5th, we’ll be gathering together in South Florida for the second pre-cruise #SQLBBQ at the home of @GarethSwan and @JenKSwan.  Along with the Swanepoels, the attendees will include:

Bill Sanscrainte – SQL Server professional from Vernon Hills, Illinois.

He grew up in Kentucky, and that explains a lot.

The red neck in the foreground - that would be Brent.

Brent Ozar (Blog – @BrentO) – Recovering baconoholic, frequent flier, storage & virtualization nerd, and lover of all things database-y.

Crystal Manson (Blog – @CrysManson) – SQL Server DBA from Washington whose hobbies include photography, exercising, reading, and all things geeky and nerdy.  This will be her second SQLCruise!

Gareth Swanepoel (Blog – @GarethSwan) – database administrator and systems administrator at SouthernWine.com in South Florida and host of the #SQLBBQ.

Gary Hines – SQL Server DBA (and one of Brent’s clients!) in Chicago, Illinois.

Joe Murray – SQL Server professional from Phoenix, AZ.

Kevin Kline (Blog – @KEKline) – former president of PASS, superauthor, and recipient of the 2009 PASS Lifetime Achievement Award.  He’s on board thanks to Quest Software, one of our sponsors, and tomorrow we’ll be talking about even more good stuff Quest is bringing on board.

Mike Decuir (Blog – @MDecuir) – database administrator at AllRecipes.com in downtown Seattle. And yes, the famous Google Chrome potato gun speed test video uses AllRecipes.com’s site, hosted with SQL Server, although like all good programmers they cache their data as much as possible rather than querying the database every time.

Karen Lopez doesn't always wear Hawaiian shirts, but when she does, she chooses SQLcruise.

@DataChick's SQLcruiseWear

Mitch Bottel – who won airfare, a cruise for two, and SQLCruise training for one courtesy of Idera’s SQLCruise contest. Watch Mitch’s contest song video on YouTube.

Richard Zuech – SQL Server professional from Bay Harbor Islands, Florida.

Tim Ford (Blog – @SQLAgentMan) – Published author, MVP, user group leader, music critic, photographer, and yes, SQL Server DBA.

A heck of a group, eh?  It’s going to be a blast.  Just close your eyes and pretend you’re going to be along with us at #SQLBBQ. We hand out swag bags to each attendee with their SQLCruise Hawaiian shirt, a t-shirt, cruise survival gear, and the SQLCruise nametag complete with Twitter name & picture.  You’ll get to know everyone before getting on board the boat, and you’ll have relaxed, comfortable conversations around the Swanepool.  (That’s the pool in the Swanepoel’s backyard.)

If you just can’t get past your case of the Mondays, why not check out SQLCruise Alaska?  On May 29th, we’re setting sail out of Seattle for a week of SQL Server training with Brent, Tim, and a special guest instructor, Buck Woody.  Check out Alaska cruise pictures from Brent and from Tim.  There’s still a couple of spots left…

Last-Minute Rooms on the March #SQLCruise

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If you checked out the March 6th SQLCruise out of Miami, but decided against going because rooms were too expensive, you might want to check again.  Norwegian had cancellations for some of the cheaper rooms, and as of this writing, there’s balcony rooms available for just $999 per person!  Check out availability now.

If you’re more of a long-term planner, check out the rates on the week-long Alaska cruise on May 29th – inside rooms are available from just $869 per person.  There’s still a couple of spots left.

SQLCruise Swag

SQLCruise Swag

Either way, you might want to sneak in now, because on Tuesday we’re going to announce a very cool set of gifts for each cruiser courtesy of Quest Software.  On the first #SQLCruise last year, we gave away a legendary amount of goodies to every cruiser, and four cruisers even won SQLCruise netbooks.  This year promises to be even better.

Heck – maybe you should just come on the cruise, ignore all the training from Brent Ozar and Tim Ford, and soak up the sun and the swag!

Here’s what you need to know:

Want to go solo cheap on SQLCruise Alaska?

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Just in time for Valentine’s Day, we’ve got great news.

Cupcakes are so romantic

Cupcakes are so romantic

If you’ve been thinking about signing up for SQLCruise Alaska on May 29th but you didn’t want to get a whole room by yourself, you’re in luck. One of our cruisers had to cancel, and as a result, Neil Hambly (Blog – @Neil_Hambly) has room for another lonely heart SQL Server professional in his cabin.

You’ll get a big break – Neil’s cabin-mate already paid the deposit on the cruise, and to help them get the spot filled, we’re knocking $200 off the SQLCruise training cost for whoever joins Neil.  $200 off your room, plus just $695 for a week of SQL training and fun with Brent Ozar, Buck Woody, and Tim Ford – that’s a heck of a deal.

Update – the room is taken! @BradHarker will be joining Neil.

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