SQL Sentry was one of our very first sponsors on the first SQLCruise, and on board the boat last year, we started the SQL Sentry Hairy Execution Plan contest.  It’s a lot like the Hairy Chest Contest that cruise ships usually run, only we lose our lunch when we see that kind of thing, so we used execution plans instead.

This year, we’re doing the contest on land, and you can enter! We’re looking for your ugliest, nastiest, hairiest execution plans – high CPU, high reads, crazy numbers of tables, or just big ugly trees.  You only get one entry, though, so to help decide which one of your queries is really the worst, check out SQL Sentry’s free Plan Explorer – a free tool to help navigate those hairy plans.

To enter, save your execution plan as XML.  Create a text file with your email address in it.  Zip up both the execution plan and the text file into one zip file, and upload it here by Friday, March 11th.  You can win:

1. Grand Prize: $100 Amazon Gift Certificate
2. Two Runners-Up: $50 Amazon Gift Certificate

Rules and Fine Print: One entry per person.  US residents only.  All entries become property of SQL Sentry and SQLCruise Inc, and we may use your plans for public presentations, demos, or comedy fodder.  If you’re worried about your company’s data being identified, remember that you’ve probably got a crappy third party app in the house that generates even worse T-SQL, so use that one instead.  We’ll judge the entries subjectively – they won’t be chosen on any one statistic alone.  Deadline for entry is Friday, March 11th, 11:59PM GMT.

So get started, and show us your hairy execution plans!

Update March 4th: Here’s the leader so far as seen in SQL Sentry’s free Plan Explorer:

Bill Sanscrainte's Hairiest Execution Plan

I bet you can do better – and even if you don’t, there’s only been a limited number of submissions so far.  It’s a quick way to earn $50-$100 for your bad code!